Whirlwind of Emotions
My wife wanted me to post on the experience of this move and having PTSD. She feels there are others out there who experience what I am going through and that I need to post about it, so you all know that what you are going through happens to others. I could go on and on about what is going on internally right now. I have spoken in other posts that changes to my “norm” are triggers and hard to handle. I have also discussed some of my triggers with driving big trucks in traffic and on tight roads. This move has been testing how far I have come with PTSD and living life.
Triggers along the way
- Driving a 26-foot moving truck with a trailer carrying my car.
- Almost rolling the truck on its’ side
- My dog trying to escape/play in the snow
- Tire on fire and the reason the dog got out
- Everything has changed
- Lack of schedule/norm
- Talking to, meeting with, and training with a ton of new people
- No food for 3 days
- Very little sleep for 4 days
As you can see…
I have listed just a few of the triggers along the way. Some are over but still affecting me. Others I am still dealing with. Although I am having so much of this shit going, I have been aware of me being triggered, my wife has been aware of me being triggered, and together we have worked hard on taking that awareness and minimizing the effects of the PTSD. I would overall call this move and my progress with PTSD a success. Never will I say it’s easy. I want you to know that if properly motivated to fight PTSD you can fight it. I remember the day I was diagnosed with PTSD I was told “you will never get over this, it will be there the rest of your life.” How depressing is that? If you aren’t depressed and fighting depression before, you are now that you’ve been told it’s hopeless to fight it.