This is NOT the clothes that I took my first photos in.

In fact this is a better story than that. You see, after the first year of contracting, (not even a year actually) I gained over 100 lbs.

I had clothes that I had just bought that were not fitting. I was frustrated at spending so much money on clothes and not being able to wear them.

I went to work one day forcing myself into one of my shirts and it was so incredibly tight and uncomfortable that I had to take my lunch and go buy a new shirt.

THIS shirt that I am wearing IS that shirt.

I bought it because it was big and I could breathe in it. Now I am facing a completely different problem, but one that I am thrilled to death to have. This bigger shirt is fitting very tight, but not because of fat. I have been working hard to convert fat to muscle. My shirts once an XXL for room for my stomach, are now XXL for room on my arms. The abdominal area looks like I am swimming in the shirt, yet a smaller shirt I cannot fit my arms into it without tearing.

This shirt symbolizes the worst and the best of the transphormation I have been working on. I may have to frame it now.


I have been invited back by Keith to have my own show on his Blog Talk Radio! show this Wednesday. I am excited to start this endeavor as I have been quite anti-social lately but feel that this is a fantastic opportunity to discuss PTSD topics live.

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